Several years ago I was working for my friend John on a ranch in Colorado. Without using a jack, I lifted the front end of the tractor so he could change the tire. Most of you would probably deny my superhuman strength, refuting that claim, and perhaps beg to ask a few clarifying questions.

Similarly, when it comes to conflict, one must ask the following questions and assess the sources of disagreement:

1. Is there inaccurate information? Has everyone’s point of view been given equal time and attention?
2. Is the issue simply a matter of preference? Are people using different methods to accomplish the same thing?
3. Is everyone clear on the same goals? Do people have different competing agendas?
4. Have other previous problems contributed to bad feelings? Do some other issues need to be resolved first before working on the current conflict?

Getting everyone to see everyone else’s viewpoint is difficult but nonetheless vital in order to retain dignity and move the discussion forward in a positive direction. Get each person to restate in their own words what they heard and understood the other person said. Help people understand the difference between preferences and convictions. Clarify vision, mission, and goals. Clear up any attitudes of ill will through private side meetings before working a group through the resolution process.

[In the spirit of full disclosure, click here for a more accurate interpretation of the featured photo.]