The final barrier to listening that I would like to discuss is assuming we know and understand what the person is attempting to communicate. We’ve all done this with statements like: “Oh, I know what you’re going through,” OR “I can relate to you”, OR “I know what you mean.” (or it may simply be your thoughts while you're attempting to listen: “Oh I know where you’re going with this!”)

Bottom line? We never fully know what a person means, feels, or is thinking. We really can’t relate because we’ve never walked exactly in another’s shoes. Assumptions are huge barriers preventing us from honoring another person’s journey and listening to their story.

So curb your assumptions. Give the speaker the benefit of the doubt. Approach the conversation as a learner; try to understand what they are communicating. Secondly, make a real effort to feel the emotion they are experiencing. Emotions are stronger than words. Seeing and feeling things from their perspective is harder than you think. But focusing on that will prevent you from forming wrong assumptions.

You can become a better listener. The barriers to listening I've covered over the last few weeks are common to all of us and don't take a degree in rocket science to understand or overcome. Figure out which barriers are your biggest challenge and begin working on them. The world will be better for it!

[In two weeks I'm going to return to this discussion on overcoming barriers to listening with some very practical tips. Please feel free to share what's worked for you and I'll consider posting them along with what I have.]